Monday, 20 March 2017

Things I would tell my younger self...

I don't regret anything in my life, as I know I wouldn't be where I am today or who I am, without experiencing what I have so far. When you're younger, you do make mistakes, and that's okay, because that's how you learn right from wrong. I'm a perfectionist through and through, I hate making mistakes and I hate doing things 'wrong', but over time, I've learnt that you can't possibly go through life without making these mistakes. 

I was inspired to write this blog post after seeing a letter Victoria Beckham wrote to her younger self last year, it was so beautifully written, and it really made me think. You don't know everything when you're younger, even if you like to think you do. And, every year I feel like I'm still learning and improving myself. Some of these things are more lighthearted but some are things I have learnt over time, that have definitely become clearer as I've grown up. I'm glad I went through some pretty shitty times, because its made me stronger and the person I am today, and now, I will never ever let anyone treat me less than I deserve.

Stop Straightening your hair!
I have naturally really curly hair, yet I spent the majority of my childhood and teenage years resenting it, and straightening it. I spend around 20-30 minutes a day curling my hair with heat now! It's always the way, you want what you don't have. I ruined my hair by straightening it and I now I wear extensions (read my hair story here). I wish I had listened to my family when they told me how lovely it was naturally, because mornings would be so much quicker if I still had my long, naturally curly hair! (I'm going to get so many "I told you so's" now I've admitted to this one!)

You will find someone better
I don't think there are many people who can go through life without having their heart 'broken' at least once, unfortunately its one of those horrible lessons you have to learn. If I could speak to my younger self, I would tell her that she will find someone so much better, someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated and someone who absolutely adores her.  

Leave your eyebrows alone
I was unfortunately part of the generation where thin eyebrows were 'fashionable'. I used to pluck my eyebrows so much, I look back at pictures and they just look awful, with no shape at all! I get so jealous of people who have naturally thick brows, because like any hair you actually want to grow, it takes a LONG time to grow back! I would tell my younger self to just leave them alone and let a professional do them. 

It's okay not to be okay
Crying is NOT a weakness. Telling people you aren't feeling that great, also isn't a weakness. I grew up thinking that I wasn't allowed to be 'upset' or have a bad day. The worst possible thing you can do when you're feeling low is to bottle it up, because you will explode! People who make you feel like you can't be sad, or judge you for being upset, they're not people who care or people you need in your life. Unless you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes, you have absolutely no right to judge how they are feeling. 

Don't sweat the small stuff
If something has upset or bothered you, will it matter this time next week? Or this time next year? If not, its probably not worth worrying about. Its so easy for things to get twisted and become bigger than they needed to be, especially in such an intense place like school, and its easy to loose sense of proportion. I would definitely tell my younger self to focus on things that really matter, and not worry about the more trivial things in life.

Think Positive
For a long time, I found being positive a really hard concept. In fact, there were many times I really couldn't see any positives at all. It is so important to start a day with "I am going to have a good day", rather than "Ugh, today is going to be rubbish". It is impossible to be positive all the time, and don't get me wrong, I still have down days, but I have realised how lucky I am to be on this planet, i'm healthy, I have everything I could need and I have the rest of my life ahead of me, and I should never have taken life for granted.

Time is the greatest healer
I used to get told this all the time and I don't think you can truly believe it until its actually happened. Something can feel like its the worst possible thing in the world and you really can't see how you could ever get over it, but you do. Time really is the greatest healer, you become stronger, more resilient and you learn from the experience. Something can be a painful memory, without it still affecting your life years later.

Be very careful whom you trust
Unfortunately, pretty much everyone experiences some sort of betrayal in their life. I really do think its one of the hardest lessons to learn. I was always such a trusting person and I would trust those who really didn't deserve it, and they showed me why I shouldn't have. These days, I am so happy with the people I have in my life, and I would trust them with my life, but its taken years to realise who actually cares and deserves that trust.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this personal post.
What would you tell your younger self?

Becci x

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